“MAYBE” IT’S JUST TOO SOON TO TELL: INSTEAD, LOOK FOR THE BLESSON

“Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.” Wayne Dyer

We’re quick to label what happens to us as "good" or "bad."  You miss a flight, and it’s automatically bad.  You got the big promotion you’d been praying for, and nothing could be better. We're wired to jump to judgment when things happen to us. But I like the way Sandy Wilder, coach and founder of Educare Unlearning Institute, puts it: “The most deleterious activity you can engage in is judgment: of yourself and others. It’s the glue that keeps you stuck.”

The story below, popularized by philosopher Alan Watts, points out what can happen when we are less apt to jump to conclusions about what occurs in our lives:

The Chinese Farmer Story:

“Once upon a time, there was a Chinese farmer who lost a horse. It ran away, and all the neighbors came around that evening to express their sympathy. They said, "We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate."  The farmer said, "Maybe."

The next day, the horse returned, and it brought with it seven wild horses. That evening, the neighbors came back and said, "Oh, isn't that lucky! What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!" The farmer again said, "Maybe."

The following day, his son tried to break one of the wild horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, "Oh dear, that’s too bad. Your only son has broken his leg, and now he can't help you with the farm. This is a terrible misfortune." The farmer replied, "Maybe."

The next day, conscription officers came to the village to draft young men into the army for a war, and they rejected the son because he had a broken leg. When the neighbors came around, they said, "Isn't that wonderful! Your son didn't have to go to war."  The farmer said, "Maybe."

Bottom line: Sometimes it’s impossible to tell whether events are good or bad.

Two years after her stroke, Mia tried to get her driver's license back. She underwent a four-hour evaluation at a rehab center but didn't pass – a "bad" thing. While waiting to be picked up, the counselor asked about her work before the stroke. Mia said she was a pediatric nurse and ran a crochet business but thought she'd never crochet again. The counselor suggested she look up “one-handed crocheters.” She did and is back to crocheting with her non-dominant left hand and knee, and has since reopened her Etsy shop, MandMCrochetForU.

No, she didn’t get her license reinstated. What she got was a blesson (lesson and blessing) – the joy of crocheting again and a driver who takes her wherever she wants to go.

So, here’s the small change Tip of the Week: You never know what blessings are hidden inside “misfortune,” or lessons that accompany “good fortune.” So the next time something happens, don’t be so quick to judge it. You can't see the whole picture yet, so “MAYBE” might be your best response.

In all things be Grateful; Be Well!

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