THE DYNAMIC DUO: STRESS AND FEAR

"It's not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it." — Hans Selye

I was quietly working in my office when I received the urgent SOS from my daughter. I rushed to her room. She was in her bathroom, slumped on the commode with a trash can up to her mouth, miserably dry heaving and sweating.  She murmured that her stomach hurt unbearably. When I asked if she’d taken something for it, she nodded but said that what she took wouldn’t stay down—and the pain was getting worse.

Suddenly, she dropped the trash can, doubled over in pain, and began to slide off the toilet seat. Barely able to mumble, she asked me to call 911. Though I desperately wanted to believe it was just something she ate and with time, she would get better, fear crept in and reminded me of her medical history. After propping her against the wall, I dashed to my office, grabbed my phone, and made the dreaded call.

Within minutes, EMTs arrived and assessed her. She vomited a large amount of food just before they wheeled her to the ambulance and headed to the local ER. I followed, sitting anxiously in the emergency waiting room until a service tech led me back to triage. By then, the doctor had already ordered a battery of tests and was waiting for the results. Miraculously, everything was normal, and we went home, relieved.

That night, as we got back to our nightly routine of crocheting together, we couldn’t help but laugh at ourselves - how quickly we’d let fear bully us and cloud our better judgment. We were both nurses and knew better - especially since her pain began to subside after she threw up.

But no one is exempt from stress, and stress and fear go hand in hand like thunder and lightning. Psychological fear, in particular, is a bully. It clouds your mind and turns every possibility into a looming disaster—even when there isn’t one. It lives in thoughts about the past or the future, convincing you to believe in the very thing you most want to avoid.

Fear flooded my mind with "what if" scenarios. What if Mia’s gallbladder had ruptured and she needed emergency surgery? What if gallstones were causing the pain? What if she were having a lupus flare? We both let our ‘what ifs’ spiral out of control. Yet, in the end, none of them came to pass.

So I’ve decided to make fear my friend and recognize it as a natural part of being human so that we can coexist in a more beneficial way. Mia’s false alarm reminded me that even though fear might be the loudest voice in the room, it doesn’t have to be the one you listen to.

The next time fear interrupts your daily life with its imaginary warnings, pause, breathe deeply, and move forward with courage. After all, courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s feeling fear but acting with wisdom.

Befriend Fear; Be Well!

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