"Be, Do, Have:” A Success Formula That Actually Works

"Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - John Wooden

What’s your personal strategy for successful living? Is it the popular “Have-Do-Be” approach - the one that says you should work hard to “have” more of the things you want, so you can “do” more of what you want to do, and eventually “be” happy?

I tried the “Have-Do-Be” approach years back when I knew I wanted a career in health and thought nursing would guarantee living the American dream. However, a few months of clinical rotation in a fast-paced New York City hospital showed me I had made a mistake, and no amount of money was worth the stress I experienced. Leaving nursing led me to my calling in health and wellness, and I have no regrets. Life is good!

Unfortunately, the “Have-Do-Be” model of success is another cultural norm that sets a trap of unhappiness that, in the end, interferes with your health and well-being. Here’s the thinking behind the approach:

·         Have: "If I just had more money, a better job, the right relationship..."

·         Do: "Then I could travel, pursue my passions, make a difference..."

·         Be: "And finally, I would be happy, fulfilled, and at peace."

The problem with the “Have-Do-Be” pathway to success is that it treats happiness as a destination—something you'll reach once you've reached a certain level of external achievements. But here’s the trap: the “have” goalposts keep moving on you!

You work hard for a promotion. When you get it, you enjoy the feeling and the extra income. Maybe you buy a bigger house, which means you want nicer furniture. Your vacations get longer. You try to keep up the image of a perfect relationship by buying expensive gifts. Soon, you find yourself needing another promotion just to feel satisfied. The “have, do, be” idea keeps you chasing happiness, but you never quite get there.

So what if you reversed the “Have-Do-Be” formula to “Be-Do-Have?” Imagine starting by being true to who you are, then doing things that match your talents and purpose. This way, you end up having what you need because it comes naturally.

Here’s the thinking behind the “Be-Do-Have” approach to living your dreams:

·         Be: “What unique gifts and perspectives do I bring?  “What values do I embody?”

·         Do: “What work do I enjoy doing that is aligned with my values, talents, and purpose?”

·         Have: “What am I naturally attracting into my life as a result of my authentic actions?

The “Be-Do-Have” strategy offers several advantages over the traditional “Have-Do-Be” model:

·         It’s easier to sustain because your actions flow from your authentic identity. e.

·         You’re less worried about income: When you love what you do, the money naturally flows.

·         It makes you more resilient when life’s circumstances change. When critical decisions have to be made, the first question you ask yourself is "Does this align with who I am?"

·         Research shows that living according to your values and authentic self leads to greater life satisfaction than achieving external goals.

Switching from “Have-Do-Be” to “Be- Do- Have” is tough in a society that measures success by external achievement. Creating a life from the inside out takes courage, but the rewards are worth it.

If you’re happy with your idea of success, great!

If you’re not, maybe it’s time to focus on being rather than having. Start small. It’s as simple as ABC: Ask yourself what kind of person you want to be; Believe you can change, and Commit to actions that match your true self!

Ready to start the “Be-Do-Have” journey and transform your life? Take the first step by reaching out to me at smallchange@myrtlerussell.com. Your future self will thank you!

To Be is to Have; Be Well!

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