How a 96-year-old inspires me to be true to myself!

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight" emphasizes the struggle to maintain individuality in a world that pressures conformity.”   E.E. Cummings

Recently, I noticed a social media post celebrating the 96th birthday of a woman I've known since childhood. I met "Ms. Pearl" in church, where she was an active member of several auxiliaries. Over the years, I grew to admire and respect her for her authenticity.

In a small town where everyone knows everyone, Pearl is a fixture. Wherever you meet her, she's the same feisty, frank individual. Ask her for advice, and she gives it to you straight - sometimes sweet, sometimes sassy – but always direct. To know her is to know that Pearl speaks her mind.

Seeing Pearl's Facebook post with her great-great-grandchildren brought back memories of cherished moments we'd shared.

Pearl was passionate about quilting and created some of the most eye-catching quilts I’ve ever seen. My favorite was her nostalgic necktie quilt, made from neckties she had collected over the years. Before she stopped driving, on any given day, you could find her quilting with friends at the local senior center or crafting a masterpiece in her home.

I thought about when Pearl shared her quilting skills with youth in Humboldt Strawberry PATCH’s afterschool program in the early nineties. Each week, she taught students stitching, piecing, and cutting techniques. Once their confidence blossomed, they began crafting simple squares with strawberry appliqués. As weeks turned into months, those squares were sewn together to form a one-of-a-kind Strawberry PATCH quilt.

The students' showpiece quilt represented the organization and vividly illustrated their collective experiences. Moreover, Pearl instilled in them the ability to create a unique work of art with their hands—an achievement many had never before realized they could accomplish.

These cherished memories lingered for a few days, and I knew I had to wish this enduring woman, who has been on this earth for almost a century, a "Happy Birthday" in person. I also had another selfish motive.

I told my daughter, Mia, about Pearl's birthday, and she wanted to see her too; Mia was one of her quilting students. So on a "Fun Friday" afternoon, we visited Pearl.

The door was open when we arrived, so I knocked, and we went in. Pearl was lying on the couch watching TV. The light was off, so I turned it on and asked if she knew who we were. Smiling, she replied, "Why yes, it's Merl (she never called me Myrtle) and Mia. Sit down, girl." Pearl sat up and started talking, and it was evident that she was still as sharp and brassy as ever.

“Wow, you haven’t changed a bit,” Mia and I said, in unison. “Well, why would I change now Merl? Besides, I’m too old to change even if I wanted to,” Pearl fired back with her unique smirk grin that got Mia and me laughing.

We went on reminiscing when, unexpectedly, Pearl asked, "What happened to the Strawberry PATCH quilt after the program ended?" I admitted that I didn't know. However, she offered her honest speculation with a humorous twist, which had us giggling again.

Then the conversation took a more reflective tone when Pearl shared that the thing she missed most about turning 96 years old is her friends. “They have all passed on, Merl. I can’t call or see them. But that's just life," she said matter-of-factly.

Now, I’ve lost a few peers, so I can relate, somewhat. Still, I haven't reached a level of spiritual maturity where I can pragmatically say, "But that's just life," which brings me to my selfish motive for the visit: I’d hoped Pearl’s authentic energy would be so palpable that it would elevate my spiritual growth. I was not disappointed.

The longer we talked, the more clearly her authenticity shone through.

Pearl knows her strengths and weaknesses. Without the slightest hint of regret, she spoke about having to give up quilting when it became too painful for her arthritic fingers to thread a needle and pull it through thick fabric.

Pearl’s core values were evident as she talked about her family, sharing the number of great-grandchildren she had, their ages, and where they lived. She asked where we lived in Jackson. When I told her, she said one of her great-grandsons worked near us. Mia and I were stunned at how well she described the area.

When we got up to leave, Pearl followed us to the porch and sat down, but not before telling us that she would be locking her door at 7:00 p.m. and no one would be getting in. That’s the Pearl I know.

I drove away as energized as a kindergartener racing for the playground at recess. Those transcendent moments of awe, sprinkled with laughter, not only boosted my spirit, but they also added fresh new meaning to my “Fun Friday."

The visit confirmed that when we are aligned with our true values and engage in meaningful activities and relationships, we build resilience and naturally open ourselves to experiences that connect us to something larger than ourselves.  So, thank you, Ms. Pearl, for blessing us with your gifts!

I don't know the secret to reaching 96 years of age, but here’s what I do know: Living authentically is an inside job that keeps you doing what you do with joy and enthusiasm, without fear of criticism.  It enhances your spiritual well-being, and your spiritual well-being is as crucial to your health as food, water, and air.

Be Authentic, Be Well!

Need help connecting to your authentic power? Contact me at smallchange@myrtlerussell.com.

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