We often overlook the role of forgiveness when we think about Self-care. While forgiveness is frequently associated with letting go of ill feelings towards others, it’s important to liberate ourselves from the heavy burden of self-inflicted pain caused by being unable to forgive.
There are no free passes when it comes to forgiveness. We all face moments when we must either forgive or be forgiven for our misdeeds.
Recent research on forgiveness estimates that 70% of all dis-ease is caused by suppressed emotions connected to anger, bitterness, resentment, and hate, emotions that don’t go away. They either erupt or erode unless we learn to process them through forgiveness.
Most of us understand it when hate erupts, leaving a wake of destruction in its path. But we give little thought to how bitterness can slowly eat away at us internally:
· Anger can spill over into the heart and cut off the blood flow
· Hate can raise blood pressure and burst arteries in the brain
· Resentment can creep into bones and joints and slow down mobility
· Bitterness can leave the body vulnerable to cancerous toxins
· Venom can make the autoimmune system go haywire
· Grudges can cause anxiety and depression and con us into addictions
The bottom line: suppressing ill feelings compromises our mental, emotional, and physical well-being, so much so that I think when patients visit their doctors, the doctor should ask, "Who is the problem?” rather than "What is the problem?" But that won't happen anytime soon, so it’s a question we must ask ourselves.
Over twenty years ago, gratitude journaling introduced me to the power of forgiveness. I began by listing people I needed to forgive, starting with myself. I had first to remove the self-imposed chains that had held me hostage for years.
I’ve since learned what forgiveness is not. It is not about punishing the person who harmed you. It is not a quick and easy process. It is not a one-time ritual performed in a religious setting. Perhaps that’s why Jesus advised Peter to forgive seventy times seven; he must have known there would always be a need to forgive. Some misdeeds require more work than others, but it comes with a bonus: forgiveness gets easier with practice.
Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves. It doesn't change the past but it can certainly enlarge the future. If I had to sum it up in one word, Forgiveness is FREEDOM!
Forgiveness
Restores
Empowers
Enlarges and
Diversifies
Opportunities
Mindfully
Think of a misdeed that has caused you harm and how it has affected you. Then, ask yourself if holding on to the pain is worth compromising your health.
Need help beginning your forgiveness journey? I’m here to help with my "Forgiveness: Your Roadway to Freedom” Workshop or one-on-one coaching. Contact me at smallchange@myrtlerussell.com. Catch up on my Self-care blogs at www.myrtlerussell.com/blog.
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